Plunger manor

In the seventeenth century, the Plunger family built their manor house down near the Lieux River on the edge of Gloucestershire. It was a lovely spot, meadows going gently down to the reeds on this most English of streams, on the outskirts of the hamlet of Nether Bollocks.

And the Plungers were happy, for three generations, until the great-grandson of the builder of the grand house married a woman from warmer and more prosperous climes. She bemoaned the dampness, she disliked the grazing sheep, she disliked the good peasant stock living in the vicinity of Nether Bollocks. But most of all, she disliked the self-effacing nature of the house to which her husband had brought her, gentled into the river valley.

Her husband, however, loved her, and wished to make her happy. He invited friends from London and beyond, to bring wit and color to the Plunger estate. He traded the sheep for horses, that they might decorate the meadows. And he raised the front of the house, that it might be seen, admired, and remembered by all who passed by.

And here is a photograph of that Plunger manor, on the Lieux, just outside Nether Bollocks, Gloucestershire.

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Comments

  1. strawberry curls says:

    Did you say “raised the front of the house?” I ask with as much delicacy as possible. That seems a freaking phallic symbol of a toilet bowl plunger. Given the family name I guess that was what he was going for…but my heavens, and near Nether Bollocks…I’m speechless.

  2. Hee hee! I love you, Alice.

    ***freaking phallic symbol of a toilet bowl plunger***

    (massive snort)

  3. Laidee Marjorie says:

    And just how much ale have you had today????? You expect us to believe in a place called Nether Bollocks and a family called Plunger? Were they flush with their success? Did they live near Sir Thomas Crapper? [wink]

    Glad you are having such a wonderful time. You are, aren’t you?

    –Marjorie

  4. strawberry curls says:

    I know I’m a bit slow, but I think I’m getting just the slightest whiff of piffle. Hummmmmmm?

  5. Oh dear heaven. I just pronounced ‘Lieux’ out loud. Have you no shame?

  6. LMBSO!!!! Nether Bollocks!!! PLUNGER!!!

    BOLLOCKS (quite literally)!!

    I needed that laugh and glad you’re having quite the chuffin’ nickle and dime!

  7. TheMadLibrarian says:

    And the lovely River Lieux is pronounced L-O-O?

  8. There remains only one question: Why Gloucestershire?

  9. *giggles madly*

  10. Glad I wasn’t drinking anything when I read that!

  11. April 1st? Surely not!

    Chris
    🙂

  12. Dear Ms. King: It has come the attention of “Those Who Monitor These Things” that your blog has been hijacked, probably by pixies. Please report this to your nearest LEPrecon* unit. You may ascertain the contact procedure by procceding to the local pub, identifing the oldest person present and plying him/her with alcohol. It usually requires 3 or more pints. We regret this incident and assure you it will be fully investigated.
    Sincerely,
    The Web Fairies

    * For a fictionalized account of this unit please see any of the “Artemis Fowl” novels.

  13. Laidee Marjorie says:

    Mary L,

    I do believe that you have cracked the case! Good work. A very reasonable explanation of the goings on. [wink and wink again]

    –Marjorie

  14. I have to admit, you had me going there for a second. It’s my Friday, I can’t be bothered determining the veracity of anything I read. Cheers!

  15. Phil the Badger says:

    I was brought up within earshot of that building siren, summoning its workers, in the day when it was still a tweed mill (such bliss!).

    However, I prefer your version to the reality

  16. You are good. You are very good. But this time it went over the top and–dare I say– down the drain? You actually got me for a full two sentences; I looked at the pic and said “Crikey!”
    It’s obviously the 5/12 anniversary of the Feast of All Fools. Long may it wave.
    best to all//Meredith

  17. Laurie,
    I think it’s all been said, but I will add this: You’re BAAAAAAAAAD.
    I take it that there is also a Little Bollocks, and a St. Sittins-on-the-Lieux…

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